Land That I Love

You Snooze, You Lose

Itchy

Why did I forget the Lotramin?

Definitely Some Real History

In Case You Didn't Know

Apple Envy

Sore Loser

Remain Calm

Buzzed

It's never been so cheap to fall off the wagon.

Bus-ting With Confidence

It's good to know that if the bus crashes, and my brains and organs are splattered all over the interior, I can be easily and conveniently cleaned up.

God Is Great, Beer Is Good.... People Are Crazy!

Hmmm

Would that mean Everything for your Dollar, or Everything for your Man?

Samurai Deli Goes Weapons Free

Please Park Carefully Inside The Lines

Ultraviolet Magic

Just smile on that tanning bed and whiten your teeth while browing your skin.

Worlds Oldest Puppies

Time to become dogs already.

Rest Stop

Suds With Your Suds

Incest Is Best

Drive In Hotel

Who needs a bellman or a luggage cart, when you can just drive right in.

Desperate Restaurant

What was Peter the signmaker thinking? People don't want private parties I tell you... They just want to drink drink drink.

Dude, Where's My Shoes

Only on Bourbon Street

Skewers For Everyone

This is the place to eat when you really don't like someone.

Nudist Bar

Miller Lite - The official beer of Nudist Bars. (Nudists definitely need to watch their calories)

Come on in and take off your clothes.

5 Star Hotel

Last week, I had some business meetings in Washington DC that were held at a 5 star hotel. Since that level of hotel is a rare event for me, I couldn't resist commentary here.

When you arrive, there is the army of bellhops, doormen, etc that you would expect - 1 person for each bag. On the way up to the room, I noticed there was a bench in the back of the elevator. I had never seen that before, but the elevators were on one side of a long rectangular building and as luck would have it, my room was at the other, a good 5 minute walk down the hall. So the benches were nice because I was usually tired by the time I got to the eleavator. Upon arriving at my room, I noticed the two pieces below on a table.

I thought these were the salt and pepper shakers for the room service, but the bellhop assured me they were just decorations. The room was filled with hoity toity books on mansions, yachts, and other interesting subjects that nobody would ever read. Good thing they delivered the paper of my choice each morning for the throne room.

The room was also devoid of other convenience items. There was no iron and ironing board (how gauche). I assume they wanted me to send my shirts out to get pressed, but that would have cost more than buying new ones. There was no coffee maker (how gauche), but you could order a pot delivered to your room for only slightly less than Juan Valdez's monthly salary (assuming you passed on the $30 room service breakfast).

The night stand had more of the salt and pepper shakers and a bottle of water imported in a glass bottle from Norway.

Of course there was no clock radio (how gauche), so a wakeup call was the only option. But no snooze alarm there. There was a tiny 2 inch cube clock on the desk that had time and temperature (in case I didnt believe the thermostat on the wall)

And the WiFi in the room was an extra charge. I have to travel again next week. It will be so nice to stay in the Holiday Inn.